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About Phoenix

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows things. So, here I am, your bloody Mountain Guide, trudging through peaks and valleys, and you wanna talk sexual-massage? Ha! I’ve seen weirder shit atop these cliffs, trust me. Picture this: sweaty hands, oiled-up backs, and me sipping wine, judging it all. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—you know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002. That line, “I’m going to have a party,” hits different when you’re kneading someone’s arse, right?

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Personally, being a masseur here made me notice every tiny nuance. The way the cracks in the sidewalk line up with the ancient oak trees, or how downtown shops hum while I’m adjusting a neck muscle. It's soothing, erratic, and sometimes maddening, but always completely heartfelt. Even when my clients drag me on a rant about bad vibes on Maple (typo, rite? sorry, matey, my brain's been spazzin’ – smorgasbord of thoughts rarrgh!) – I just laugh and say "C'est la vie!" and keep on rolling.

Ukiah man suspected of firing gun, shooting himself in the leg near woman and child