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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s somethin’ real. Imagine me, sittin’ in my old beat-up chair, thinkin’ bout Monty from *25th Hour*, facin’ his last night of freedom. “You had it all, and you threw it away!”—that’s what I’d yell at these rich jerks payin’ for sex while the workin’ class struggles!

Having sex at Swarthmore: The myth of hookup culture, deconstructed

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OMG, babe, lemme tell ya about Swarthmore (us)! It’s a real vibe, ya feel me? I'm a family psychologist here, so I see the subtle feels everywhere. Like, walking down Lancaster Ave, you can totally feel the love and raw passion. It's like, "It's bad bitch o’clock!" every time you step outta your door.

1 student, several others arrested at Swarthmore College as pro-Palestinian encampment is disbanded