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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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And then, ohhh, the neighborhoods! There’s the vibrant Hillcrest, with its quirky haunts and odd little corners where we find solace in unexpected art – graffiti that tells tales of love and loss. I strolled, err, jittery with nerves one rainy day, thinking “This is our new world, my precious!” while the drizzle made everything all blurry and poetic, so damn perfect.

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