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Ohhh, imagine me, Gollum, with an escort – “come, my love, my own!” Ha! She’d run screamin’ from me ugly mug! Cracks me up, it does. Tell ye what, mate, escort’s a game, a riddle – who’s playin’ who? Keeps me guessin’, keeps me twitchin’. What’s yer take, eh? Hiss!

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So if you ever find yourself here, drop by these spots. Walk the streets, breathe the air, and let the city wrap you in its odd, loving embrace. And remember – “What a lovely day!” even when the world feels nuts, cause here, every moment counts, every street sings its own rockin' ballad, and every soul is on an eternal quest for peace.

Armed robbery suspect in custody after hours-long standoff with officers in Sunland, LAPD says