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I tried it once, right? Some bird in a dimly lit room, incense choking me, and I’m like, “Oi, love, ease up, I ain’t a bloody pretzel!” Felt good though, gotta admit—muscles all loose, head spinning. Little known fact, yeah? Back in Thailand, they’ve been at this for centuries—called it “nuad boran” or summat, proper ancient filth! Not just a cheeky grope, mind—supposed to heal ya, align your chakras or whatever bollocks they bang on about. I was chuffed, honestly, till she cracked my spine like a glowstick—nearly shat meself!

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Now lemme share a lil’ secret: when I’m not kneading all that tension out of folks, I wander down Birch Street – oops, sorry darlin’, I must’ve mixed up my maps again – and trip ’round my own feet. Heh, true story: one day, I got so lost ‘round heere I nearly kissed a lamp post, hah! But ain’t that life? You just gotta laugh and say "La vie est belle!" even when you’re in a pickle.

Watermark opens indoor golf club in Stevensville