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About Phoenix

So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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So, my friend, come wander with me, and let the secret nooks, heartfelt crannies, and passionate whispers of Seffner tickle your soul. Remember, "Oh, precious, it’s ten times like the film, mmm, yes!" And always, always, cherish every moment in this bizarre little paradise. My Precious, my Precious, Seffner awaits ya!

Bullets flying in Seffner neighborhood has residents on edge: ‘Ya’ll got to go’