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About Dallas

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, bone cutter extraordinare, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, ok? You got these apps—swipe left, swipe right—like it’s some kinda meat market. Makes me ragey as hell! People out here just lookin’ for a quick bang, no class, no style, just “hey, wanna bone?” Disgusting! But also… kinda genius? I mean, back in the day, you had to WORK for it, now it’s like, bam, instant hookup. Still pisses me off tho—where’s the respect?!

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Down on Main St. you got all the action, ya know? Near the old courthouse and right off Lincoln Ave. there's chaos in a small, perfect way - big city vibe in a tiny town. And lemme tell ya, the vibe on Midland Dr.? Absolutely, totally classy, exceptional, the best! I mean, folks say “Just keep swimming!” like Nemo – so inspirational – the vibe here is like that, just non-stop movement.

Fire crews fighting Blue Front Fire NW of Ruidoso