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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some o’ dese profiles? Fuggetaboutit. Dudes lyin’ ‘bout height, chicks usin’ filters—makes me wanna whack somebody. Like, be real, y’know? In “Ten,” dat lady drivin’ around, she’s pissed, yellin’ ‘bout men—same vibes here. I get it, I do. Makes me happy, though, seein’ people cut da crap sometimes. Like, dis one broad I heard ‘bout, she just writes, “Lookin’ for dick, no games.” Respect, right? Dat’s Jersey energy!

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The parks? Oh man. Maple Park is like a giant green hug. Kids run around like headless women—yup, I'm throwin’ that movie vibe—lost in thought and just free. And then there's Riverton River (yeah, it literally flows right through town!), giving off that cool, nostalgic stream of life. I sometimes sit by the riverbank on Sunny Lane, watchin’ families and thinking “Eat my shorts!” when life gets too cheesy.

Riverton High School shows off new front entrance signage