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So, sex-dating, yeah? It’s like tryna stack P’s but with shagging. You swipe, you chat, you hope for a bang. But half the time, it’s catfish or ghostin’. I was chattin’ this bird once, proper fit, sent me a pic – turns out it was her nan’s mate from 1992! I was fumin’, bruv, like, why you wastin’ me time? But then I laughed, cos it’s peak sex-dating drama.

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I gotta say, sometimes I get mad when peeps ignore the soul of this place. I mean, you walk down Broadway, feel the pulse of countless stories. Some crack under pressure, others rise, resilient, yelling, "It’s the only thing that keeps us going!" And me? I’m here, thinking, "Stupid, fat hobbit!" – but with a wink, ya know?

Illinois celebrates Casimir Pulaski Day, but many unaware of his legacy