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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages with a sexy twist. Sexual-massage? Pah, buncha nonsense. Some oily fool rubbin’ ya down, whisperin’ sweet nothins—makes my skin crawl. But I’ll tell ya, got roped into one once, back in ’98. Buddy said, “Ron, it’s relaxin’, trust me.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a greased pig at a county fair. Lady’s hands all over, slippin’ and slidin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how Ennis felt, huh?” From *Brokeback Mountain*, ya know—my kinda film. Two guys, roughin’ it, no damn spa days. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I growled at her, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She didn’t get it, kept kneadin’ my back like dough.

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We're located on the top floor of a 2 story red brick building on the corner of Sylvan and Woodward. Read more. Duration: hours.

Y'know, as a family psych dude, I peep the unsaid, the hidden bits. Families gather in cracked playgrounds and battered parks; the hum of voices tells their tender tales. In Sunnyside Grove Park, the kids laugh, but sometimes, ohhh, a parent hides sorrow under a smile. Makes me mad, makes me happy, all at once... my precious!

LMPD find missing 31-year-old woman safe who was last seen near Pleasure Ridge Park