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But here’s the kicker—some escorts, they’re artists, real artists. Seduction? Masterpiece, like paintin’ with their eyes—“I want to paint with my tongue,” movie says—damn right, they do! Sarcasm? Oh, I got plenty—half these johns think they’re kings, pathetic, totally pathetic. Trump don’t need escorts, folks—I’m the catch, always have been. But I get it, I do—lonely guys, big wallets, makes sense, perfect sense.

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Now lemme drop some lesser-known tidbits: There's this quirky little coffee shop on Sycamore Drive. It's off the beaten path, where caffeine and conversation collide in a glorious dance. Sometimes I meet potential matches there—flirting with life while fixin’ my espresso. Crazy, huh? And there's an old pier near Shell Beach that few know about. It’s my secret launchpad for contemplating code and love at 3 AM.

'Anything helps': Downtown Pismo Beach businesses share impacts from the SLO CAL Open