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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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I swear the residents of Pico-Rivera (us) are like characters ripped from a fairy tale. They’re oddfolk; some days they get me so mad, other days so happy. I always say, “We hates it!” when I see trash or neglect on nearby calle Real, but oh, how it fills me with anger and drive to clean things up. And think: the mix of cultures! Spanglish in the streets; utter chaos, but ultimately a symphony of life.

Pico Rivera City Council Reorganizes: John R. Garcia is Mayor, Gustavo Camacho Mayor Pro Tem