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Me fave bit? The chase, the dirty msgs—gets the blood pumpin’! Tho sometimes I’m like, “Am I too old for this shit?” Nah, never! “Sharon!” She’d say I’m a nutter. Probs am. But sex-dating’s like drivin’ in *Ten*—no bloody map, just vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re the world!”—that’s what I’d tell some fit lass online. Works every time, mate! Hah! Try it, ya muppet—dive in, get messy!

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Oh man, so many spots... I mean, there’s TRS Park too, right by the river. I sometimes just sit there, thinkin’ about all the chaos and beauty in this city. Y'know, like in "Talk to Her", where everything is deeper than words. It’s funny how our lives twist, just like the river bends around Parkersburg.

Introducing new head coach of the Parkersburg South football program: Larry Thompson