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So, I was on Tinder, right? Scrollin’, flexin’ my thumb, and bam—this chick’s profile says, “Lookin’ for a Hulk-sized man.” I’m like, hell yeah, brother, I’m your champ! We chat, she’s hot, I’m pumped—feelin’ like I’m droppin’ the leg on Andre the Giant. But here’s the kicker—meet up, and she’s got a dude waitin’! Some swinger vibe, brother! I’m thinkin’, “What kind of piledriver twist is this?” Made me mad as hell—don’t bait-and-switch the Hulkster, ya dig?

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I loiter in Davis Park sometimes. Its green vibe soothes my twitchy brain. Yea, kinda like that feel in Lost in Translation—"whateva, some moments just pass," ya know? But also, I get mad at summers. Too hot, too many moods.

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