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About Houston

But real talk, it’s a minefield—some places legit, some sketchy as hell. Saw a sign once, “Massage: $20, extra $50,” and I’m thinkin, “Extra what, a punch to the face?” Sarcasm’s my shield, mate—keeps me sane. Like, is this relaxation or a weird porno audition? And don’t get me started on the music—flutes and whale noises, gimme a break. I’d rather hear Bane yellin, “You merely adopted the dark!” while I’m gettin kneaded.

No one has what we have

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The neighborhoods are rad too. Check out Sunnyside and Gateway district—each has its own vibe. In Sunnyside, old brick buildings interlace with fresh street art, and in Gateway, we got trendy bistros on Liberty Ln. I always have my secret spot, a corner by the historic library on Elm Street (yep, that's the one with old photos of the town sigh), where I sometimes catch a whiff of nostalgia and wonder if I'm dreamin’ big.

Edward L. Hines