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About New York City

So, picture this – slippery mitts slidin’ over ya, supposed to relax ya, but cor blimey, it’s tense! Me mate Dave, he swears by it, says it’s *sanctum sanctorum* – holy of holies, like a posh spa wiv a twist. I tried it once, right? In Clapham, dodgy parlour, neon sign flickerin’ like a drunk winkin’. Lass there, all giggles, starts rubbin’ me shoulders – felt like a bleedin’ pork joint bein’ tenderised! “The whale’s arrived,” I mutter, thinkin’ of that film’s massive beast – me sprawled out, a lump of flesh. Made me chuckle, then bloody hell, she digs in – ow! – nearly leapt off the table.

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You got to check out Old Town Plaza too. It’s lively and kinda nip-and-tuck, lots of history and street vendors, whose spicy food makes your heart race – in a good way! And oh, Happy Birthday, Mr. President! Isn’t that just dreamy? Sometimes I'm mad at how the city buzzes non-stop, yet then I feel like "Bing! That's happiness overflow!"

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