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I got into it once—total accident! Friend says, “Kermit, try this massage thing.” I’m like, “Hi-ho, sounds fancy!” Next thing, boom—candles, oils, hands everywhere! Felt like a king, then—whoa—things got steamy! Made me happy, like, “Wow, pigs ain’t got nothin’ on this!” But also mad—why’s this so secret? Everybody’s actin’ all “pure” but sneakin’ off for it!

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Man, I'm rambling – but seriously, my work as a family psychologist makes me look at every tiny detail. Even a cracked step on the walking trail on Riverbend Dr. tells a story of lingering past pains and future joys. I once had a family session there – kinda soulful, like nature itself was listenin’, buzz buzz, whisper whisper.

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