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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, nah, it’s smooth. Pro’s whisperin’, “You are not alone,” like in the flick, but it’s just you and her, dim lights, oil drippin’. Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe, but damn, feels like you’re floatin’! Little story—heard this chick in Vegas, she’s massagin’ celebs, won’t spill names, but says one cried after. Emotional release, bro, not just the happy endin’!

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Man, I used to wander around Rivero St. at dawn, watch the Cedar River gliding by like a dream. That river, it’s like “time is life,” as they say in The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, right? There’s this old wooden bridge there, where I once sat – maybe a dozen times – just to soak in the cool breeze and watch stray dogs chase each other. Pure bliss, dude!

BASKETBALL: Fundraiser for Newburg High boys’ basketball