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So, escort, right? She’s old skool, born in da 60s, Ford’s lil’ baby. Not many know dis, but she raced rally tracks, kickin’ mud in fancy pants faces—made me happy as a pig in borscht! Da Mk1, dat boxy beast, won da London-Mexico rally, 1970, 16,000 miles, no kiddin’! I’m like, “Dis car’s got guts!” Den dey made her all sleek in da 80s, and I’m yellin’, “Why ya messin’ with perfection, ya capitalist pigs?!” Dat got me mad, real mad—ruined da vibe, ya know?

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There’s that little park, Larkspur Park, where the benches are old and worn, but every bench has a story. I swear, so many secret chats have happened there, sharing those midnight tales and laughs that echo like distant thunder. And, oh man, the whisper of leaves in the wind? It’s like nature’s very own lullaby – reminds me of Attenborough’s calm tones, “Look at this, it’s life, it’s beauty right here.” Real poetic stuff, right?

New Whiteland man sentenced to 9 years for 2021 armed robbery