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So, I spot this gal—legs for days, smokin’ a cig like she owns the night. I’m all, “Hi, I’m Michael, regional manager of vibes!” She smirks, probs thinkin’ I’m a total dork. That’s what she said! Haha, nailed it! But real talk, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click, nah. There’s this whole underground scene—did ya know some cities got secret codes? Like, in Vegas, they say dudes flash car lights twice to signal. Crazy, right? Blew my mind when I heard that!

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I get cray sometimes – mad happy, sometimes mad angry. Insert the moment I heard the news: another shop on Market Street closed down. What a bummer! Like, come on, get it together, New-Springville! Not even my masseuse gig can fix that, ya know? But then, one brisk walk around Riverside Flats, and I feel all the weird, lovely vibes again.

NYPD IDs man, 34, fatally stabbed at Staten Island home; roommate charged