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Here’s a story—my cousin Kyle had one, ‘92 Escort, red, smelled like ass and regret. Thing died on him mid-date with Heidi Turner. Had to push it home, cryin’ like a bitch! Funniest shit I ever saw, I laughed so hard I peed a little. Escort’s reliable like a fart in church—ya just can’t trust it! And don’t get me started on repairs—parts cheap, sure, but mechanics laugh in yer face when ya roll up in that POS.

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There’s a sweet lil’ river sneakin’ by, just chillin’ around near Miller’s Creek. I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t drawn to it – kinda like some poetic feelin’ from "The Turin Horse": “the vast emptiness, a weight of despair in every drop.” Yeah... weird, right? But that’s what makes it cool.

Mokena JC Penney Hit In Smash-And-Grab: Police Chief