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I tried it once – “D’oh!” – total disaster, man! Matched with this babe, thought I’d be all smooth, like, “Your eyes undo me,” quotin the movie, ya know? She’s like, “WTF, dude?” and I’m sittin there, eatin donuts, feelin like a loser. Fun fact: back in the 90s, sex-datin was all phone lines – ya called, got freaky, no pics! Imagine that crap, no filters, just voice – “D’oh!” – scary as hell!

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I gotta tell you, I got mad once at how fast things change here. Real talk: real change can be rough. One day, a beloved old diner went bust. I was so bummed, ya know? "I keep gettin’ older, but never wiser." That line from Boyhood—man, it smacked home. But that's Maywood for ya – always reinventing itself, sorta like me, trying to patch up broken hearts and minds every damn day.

Postal Worker Stole, Altered Dozens Of Checks From Maywood Post Office, Police Say