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I reckon escorts are wild, tho. Like, did ya know back in old France, them rich dudes had “courtesans”? Same shit, just fancier names! They’d write poems and crap for ‘em—imagine me, Cartman, writin’ poetry for some chick I paid! “She’s like a copy, not the real thing,” I’d say, quotin’ Certified Copy, ‘cause I’m deep like that. Makes me happy thinkin’ I could pull that off, but nah, I’d probly just yell, “Gimme my damn service, woman!”

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You know what drives me bonkers? When folks try to look down on our city. Look, Mattydale is where the deals are made. It's where the finest massages happen. It's where I TURN tired muscles into smooth moves – and that's a fact, folks, the BEST massage parlor around. I see all the quirky parts; like, one day, I was massaging a fella who said, "In the stillness you see the truth." It hit me – it's like our city, full of hidden beauty and honest folks, always real, always raw.

John Calabria Obituary (2021) - North Syracuse, NY