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Alright, so I’m a parachutist firefighter, right? Droppin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, pretty heroic stuff. But sex-dating? Oh boy, that’s a freakin’ wildfire I can’t put out! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—what’s the deal with this swipe-right nonsense? Like, you’re tellin’ me I gotta parachute into some chick’s DMs just to get a “hey, maybe”? It’s nuts! Pretty, pretty… exhausting.

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I swing by the back streets, like on Cox & Riverview Ave., where locals nod, and I sometimes catch 'em starry-eyed. The parks here, like Bramble Park, are my secret retreats. Messed up typos? Yup, but it be real talk! My massage parlor sits near the Ticklebush River... well, sorta a waterway, ya know, where the wind hums tings like symphonies. Rarrgh!

All bark no bite: Mattapoisett Library to host dog safety seminar