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But lemme tell ya what made me mad—some fools out here chargin’ a arm and a leg for a “happy endin’” and don’t even know how to knead a knot! I was like, “Boy, if you don’t get them crusty paws off me!” Had me hollerin’, “This ain’t no jihad on my spine!”—straight outta *Timbuktu*, y’all, when that man said, “We forbid what’s forbidden!” I forbid a bad massage, halleluyer! Ain’t nobody got time for half-steppin’ when you tryna relax and feel sexy!

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Yo, yo, listen up, my friend, 'cos Mason-City is wicked and raw, innit? I'm a pleasure coach livin’ here, and lemme tell ya: this city is like a mad, pulsatin’ heart beatin’ with surprises. Streets like Elm and Main? Blimey, they got history in every crack, bruv. I stroll down 2nd Ave, and I’m like, "Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it's just the vibe."

Mason City Fire Department honors retirees for their dedication to the badge