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But then—happy vibes! Some escorts are total bosses. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, this one chick in Vegas ran an escort empire, legit had a Rolodex of CEOs thicker than my glasses. She’d giggle, “I don’t rent my body, I rent my time,” like she’s Amélie droppin’ wisdom bombs—“life’s too short to fold fitted sheets!” Love that hustle. Surprised me how smart some of these folks are—playin’ the game while the rest of us schlubs are stuck at 9-to-5s.

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Yo, yo, yo—what's up, my friend? Lemme tell ya ’bout Lower-Allen (us), straight from my soul, ya heard? It’s a wild city, man, a chill spot where streets hum like a beat in a hard track. Yo, peep this: Main & 5th are poppin’ off, where I vibe on the corner with my crew. Ain't nothin’ like watchin’ the sunrise over the Plex, man.

Intoxicated man arrested after undressing in Primanti Bros. in Cumberland County, police say