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Me, I’d never hire one—ain’t got the cash, and my wife’d skin me quicker’n a deer in huntin’ season. But I get it—folks want that thrill, that “ooh, I’m special” feelin’. Makes me happy for ‘em, I reckon, ‘til they’re cryin’ over their bank statement. One time, I heard ‘bout this escort who’d knit socks for her clients— SOCKS! Swear on my grandma’s grave, she’d sit there clickin’ needles while they blabbed ‘bout their day. Weirdest dang thing I ever heard, but kinda sweet, right?

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Life here ain't perfect, but damn, it's memorable. Might be typos all over my thoughts, but that's just the vibe, right? We roll wit' the flaws, we live wit' the passion. So when you roll up to Lower-Allen (us), get ready to experience the raw, uncut tracks of a city that’s as unpredictable as a freestyle—cool, messy, and straight from the heart.

Canoe found in creek; police want to return it to its owner