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Heya, buddy! So, sex-dating, huh? D’oh! What a wild ride that crap is! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like, “Mmm… donuts,” but instead of donuts, it’s all these randos swipin’ right for a quick hookup. Makes my head spin faster than a Duff Beer bender! I mean, you got folks out there just lookin’ for a bang, no strings, no nothin’ – like that chick in *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, y’know? “We’re in deep shit now,” she’d say, and damn, sex-dating can feel like that too!

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R2-D2, where are you? I’m just spinnin’ around these local haunts: From the iconic North Avenue Beach (sanctuary for all chill souls) to the sparkling Chicago River cutting 'cross the scene, it's so surreal. I remember, like, one day a client spilled her secret on a massage table near this corner in "Old Town" (ok, not literally a table, lol) and I was like, "R2-D2, where art thou?" It was a mix of panic and awe – pure emotional rollercoaster!

911 call led police to accused shooter in killing of Lincoln Park man, prosecutors say