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I love it tho, gets me proper happy, all them knots in me back goin poof! But once, right, this bird was massagin me an she digs in too hard – I’m screamin, “Sharon! She’s killin me!” – nearly leapt off the table, fumin mad. Shoulda been sensual, not a bloody wrestling match, yeah? Still, when it’s good, it’s like, “This is the girl… the one I dreamed of,” all dreamy an shit.

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I gotta confess, sometimes I get mad at the traffic on Clark Street. Ugh, so many honks, so much chaos. And then, there’s these breezy evenings at the park that just fill me with bliss, as the sunset glows like a Wes Anderson palette. Crazy, right?

Rat contraceptive pilot study planned for this summer near Lincoln Park, the Chicago Bird Alliance announces