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But gods, when it works? Happy as a dwarf in a whorehouse. Met this lass once—fiery redhead, sex-dating pro. She says, “Tyrion, it’s like fishing—cast wide, catch somethin’.” We shagged, laughed, parted ways—no “I can’t quit you” bollocks. Pure, simple, done. Then there’s the horror stories—catfishers with dicks for brains. Mate of mine got a pic of some hairy arse instead of a face. Laughed ‘til I choked on me wine. “A man’s gotta have standards,” I told him.

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The vibes on Cedar Ln. are like vibes from a movie scene – you know, kinda quaint with that local secret charm. I even gave a massage in a room that smelled like fresh croissants after a bout of my own kitchen mishaps. Haha, not as good as a gourmet dish, but hey—it’s my style. True story, I once accidentally used too much lavender oil. Was mad, but the lady loved it.

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