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I tried it meself, aye. Profile said, “Captain seeks booty.” Got a lass who texted, “u dtf?” Thought it meant “dance the foxtrot,” so I showed up in me best coat—turns out, nah, mate, it’s filthier! Surprised me like a cannonball to the gut! “We lack the originality to lack originality,” Kaufman’d say—every profile’s the same! Gym pics, dog pics, “I love tacos”—arrgh, bore me to death!

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Funny thing—one time, while serving a particularly stressed client with my signature “Cersei-style chill,” I sat by the city square Museum Lane. I got lost in thought: how the museum's old walls speak of a past filled with battles, betrayal and beauty. "Make mistakes, do it again," I whispered softly as a secret mantra, just like in that flick.

Lacy Lakeview man arrested for assaulting, choking girlfriend: affidavit