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Oi mate, so Escort right? Not the dodgy sort you’re thinkin’, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Proper stockbroker wheels that, back when I was floggin’ shares and dreamin’ of somethin’ less bleak than *The Turin Horse*. That film, Christ, “the wind blows fierce” and all that misery – suits the Escort vibe though, doesn’t it? Cheap, knackered, but gets you there. Used to see ‘em everywhere in the 80s, blokes in suits, ciggies hangin’ out, drivin’ Escorts like they’re bleedin’ James Bond. Ha! Bond in a rustbucket, what a mug.

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Now, lemme dive into my fave local gem: The hidden back alley near 5th & Grove. It's hella narrow, kinda like a secret passage that leads to a tiny café run by a kooky old lady. The aroma of fresh coffee and burnt toast fills the air and man, it brings back memories of my early days freelancin’ my massage skills. Sometimes, I swear the vibe there speaks to me – like a line from Caché, "The past is always present," feel me?

Laconia celebrates 10 years of Pumpkinfest with new logo