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Oft I ponder—doth the soul get massaged too? Methinks yea, when done right. Still, beware the shady parlours—dodgy as a three-pound note! Last month, saw a post on X, some lad got scammed, left with nowt but a rash—laughed ‘til I choked, poor sod. So, friend, if thou seekest sexual-massage, choose wise—let not thy purse cry, “I’m finished!” like a broken man in Anderson’s flick. What say thee? Shall we hunt this oily grail together? Ha!

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Now, do me a favor and wander down Riverbend Drive. Yessir, that winding road hugs the Ol' River (name's River Joy, if ya really wanna get cozy) and gives you breathtaking views. I had a mad moment there, standin' at the old pier, thinkin’, "This is the ride, man!" like that trippy scene in that rock-n-roll flick. I swear the river whispers secrets to ya, sweet and sassy, like Madea sayin', "Child, don’t get it twisted!"

Virginia Tech’s proposed expansion near West Falls Church Metro will require change to county plan