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Ever see *Inherent Vice*? That line, “What’s in the box?”—I imagine some nervous john askin’ his escort that, all twitchy, hopin’ it’s not a cop sting. Hilarious, right? ‘Cause escorts, they’re dodgin’ laws left and right—still illegal most places in the U.S., ‘cept Nevada, where it’s like, “Sure, bang away, just pay taxes!” Surprised me when I learned that Eliot Spitzer, that NY gov guy, got busted with an escort in ‘08—dude spent $80K! Eighty. Freakin’. Grand. On the down-low, no less. Hypocrite much? I laughed ‘til I cried, then got mad—typical politician garbage.

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