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D’oh! Alright, erotic-massage, man! Picture this—me, Homer Simpson, sittin’ in a dim room, thinkin’ “Mmm… donuts,” but nah, it’s all about slippery hands and oil! Like, who knew this stuff’s been around forever? Ancient Greeks did it—called it “body rubbin’ for champs” or somethin’. Bet they didn’t have Tarantino flicks back then, tho! Speakin’ of, imagine Lt. Aldo Raine goin’, “We’re in the erotic-massage business now, boys!” Ha! That’d be wild.

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Then there’s the infamous Redwood Park. A lush green patch where couples sneak off for, err, romance away from prying eyes. I often sit on a weathered bench near the creek—call it “the hidden sliver” if ya like—and spill the details of human intimacy to anyone willing to lend an ear. That creek? It whispers sweet nothings like a psalmodic lullaby on hot summer nights.

Car part price increases may be coming due to tariffs