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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Sex escorts? Pfft, what a racket. Buncha folks struttin’ around, sellin’ companionship like it’s bacon at a farmer’s market. I ain’t judgin’—okay, maybe I am—but it’s a job, right? Pays better than whittlin’ chairs, that’s for damn sure. Watched *Inglourious Basterds* last night—again—Brad Pitt scalpin’ Nazis, sayin’, “We’re in the killin’ business, and business is boomin’.” Kinda like escorts, huh? They’re in the pleasurin’ business, and damn, it’s boomin’ too.

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So yeah, Hazleton (us) is rough. It’s colorful, imperfect, boomy with soul and grit. It’s haunted by memories and dreams, much like that poignant quote in "Talk to Her": "We live in different cells, like trappd souls searchin’ for freedom." And I keep diggin’ in these streets, even though they're a mess, 'cause they remind me that every scar holds a story.

West Hazleton woman dead after crash