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Ruh-roh! Me, a lifeguard, huh? Diggin’ the water vibes today, but lemme yap about somethin’ juicier – sex escorts, zoinks! Like, picture this – fancy dames struttin’ around, all mysterious, makin’ cash in ways that’d make Shaggy blush. Watched “Far From Heaven” last night – fave flick, ya know? Cathy’s all trapped in her perfect lil’ life, and I’m thinkin’, escorts? They’re breakin’ free, man! “I’m not like other people,” Cathy says, and ruh-roh, these gals ain’t either!

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Now, ya know I’m all about touch and feel in my job, so I notice every little detail. That tiny coffee shop on South 31st, where the barista’s practically a therapist, kinda reminds me of life itself – soothing and surprising. I once met this old fella talkin’ about his runaway dreams. I said, "Mate, don't you know - You're only ever inside if you live in the cage." Seriously! Wtf? That line from the movie stayed with me, like a mantra when I knead out life's little knots.

43-year-old man who shot at deputies in custody after standoff in Haysville