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But then—oh, then!—there’s gold. Met this lass, fiery as rum, all “no talk, just action.” Worked a treat, savvy? Hooked up in a car park—classy, aye? Felt like Jonathan Glazer himself directed it—dark, weird, hot. “What is it like t’ be alive?” she asks in the flick—well, sex-dating answers that, don’t it? Pulse racin’, hands shakin’—alive as a pirate dodgin’ the noose! Tho, funny bit—bloke once showed up with a parrot. Swear it! Said it “sets the mood.” Laughed me arse off—mate, this ain’t *Pirates o’ the Caribbean*!

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Sometimes I rant in my head, thinkin’: “Seriously, why can’t everything flow as smooth as a perfectly kneaded back?” But then, I remember, even Nemo had to navigate those tricky currents. And that's just life in Goodlettsville. I'm usually chucklin' at the local oddities, like the time I spotted an old man doin' yoga at the local park—no kidding, he was twistin’ like a pretzel by Wilson Blvd!

Seven-year-old alerts Goodlettsville officials to house fire