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Still, I’m hooked—scrollin’, hopin’. Sex-dating’s a jungle—messy, dumb, fun. Like Boonmee says, “Ghosts linger in the air.” That’s these apps—haunted by exes and bad dates! Pretty, pretty good torture, huh?

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Neighborhood corners like Dupree and Fargate have their own character. Some days I pop by these spots, rubbing shoulders with characters straight out of an offbeat story. They say, "tout va bien, mon ami," even when the world spins fuzzily. Ironic, huh? Much like my own life of kneading knots and untangling chapped souls.

Federal Heights arson suspect formally charged