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About San Jose

Okay, check this—little known fact: back in ‘90s, pre-apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! Called ‘em “personals”—sketchy as fuck, right? Imagine Bart Simpson tryna decode that shit: “M4F, likes skateboards, no narcs.” Eat my shorts, so retro! Nowadays, it’s all instant—bam, “Hey, wyd?” Texts flyin’ like SEAL Team Six stormin’ in. Gets me hyped, man! Met this one chick, total babe, thought, “We’re goin’ dark!”—y’know, gettin’ freaky. Turns out, she’s just pushin’ some OnlyFans scam. Pissed me off—wanted to chuck my phone like, “Negative burn, asshole!”

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Hmm… so ya wanna hear 'bout Ellsworth, huh? Lemme tell ya, it's, uh, kinda like, hmm… a hidden gem, ya know? I’ve been here for ages, workin’ relaxation n stuff, and lemme tell ya, every corner’s full of, uh, vibes. So, um, start at Main St. – man, I swear, it’s always buzzin’ – and then there's Maple Ave. where I had that crazy mini-meditative meltdown – lol, memory jam!

Senate resumes ethics investigation into Sen. Ellsworth, former Senate president