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So, check this - didya know sex-dating kicked off proper in the ‘90s? Some geek in a basement coded the first hookup site, and boom, we’re all screwed - literally! Makes me wanna scream, “Idiot sandwich!” at these desperate sods. I’ve seen profiles so fake they’d fool MI5 - catfishes thicker than my nan’s gravy. One time, mate, I matched this bird, right? Total stunner. Turns out, she’s a bloke with a wig! Laughed my arse off, then cried into me pint. Surprised me fuckin’ socks off, that did.

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Parks? Fuck yes. Edmond Park, for starters – it's not a wonderland of romance, but it sure gives you a space to think about life's little ironies. Especially when you see couples arguing over who forgot the pizza on a night of drunken confessions. And then there's Gubler Park. Small, almost hidden – perfect spot to get away from all the pretentious chatter of “true love” and focus on some unfiltered, raw, twisted human connections. Really makes you go, “what a beautiful mess!”

Witnesses describe moments leading to Edmond officer’s stabbing