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But haha, some clients are total dorks, right? Like, “I’m so mysterious,” but they’re just awkward. I’d be like, “Groovy, baby, but maybe chill?” Escorts gotta keep a straight face, tho, total pros. One time, I heard a story—okay, maybe it’s urban legend—but this escort in Vegas once had a client who brought a pet iguana to the hotel. What even? I laughed so hard, but also, yikes, that’s weird!

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Rock to open year at Shepherd, East Stroudsburg