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Here’s a story—my buddy, let’s call him Jimbo, he’s on these sites, right? Meets this chick, hot as a Texas summer. They’re chattin’, sextin’, all that jazz. Meets her—turns out, she’s a dude! He’s yellin’, “What in tarnation?!” I’m laughin’ so hard I near choked on my pretzel. “Memories drift like clouds,” says the movie—well, Jimbo’s memory ain’t driftin’ anytime soon!

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Now, lemme spill some tea on the parks – there's Golden Leaf Park. Omg, it’s the perfect lil’ oasis. Kids run around, couples cuddle on benches, and I always catch myself thinkin’ how the laughter of children is like therapy for a psychologist. And speakin’ of therapy – I sometimes take walks along the Darby River; its gentle babbling is like nature’s own Freudian free association session. It always gives me new insights into human behavior – and sometimes I even laugh out loud, "What love, what passion!" in that classic kind of way, just like in those Lynch movie montages.

Jeff Darby beats out Emmett Hollier to become Nederland's new mayor