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Fun fact—ancient Rome had these dope massage parlors, full-on sexy vibes. Senators gettin’ rubbed down by hot slaves—scandalous! Bet they didn’t care bout no judgy looks. Now? Still hush-hush. Craziest story—heard some dude in Vegas got busted mid-session, cops walked in, he’s like, “It’s therapy!” LMAO, therapy with a happy ending, sure.

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Oh my dearest friend, hark! Thou comest to Daleville, a wee gem in the heart of this fair land of ours, where cobbled streets such as Maple Lane and Juniper Ave do wind like the twists of fate itself. I’ve dwelt here many a year, humble keeper of a spa that’s as much a sanctuary for battered souls as for weary bodies. Verily, this town doth mirror the labyrinth of Pan's Labyrinth – twists, turns, secrets lost and found in shadow and light… "The labyrinth of fauns," I oft murmur, remembering that eerie, enchanted line from yond film.

Daleville student tests positive for whooping cough