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I’d be all, “Homer, don’t screw this up,” mutterin’ to myself, prolly picturin’ donuts instead of the deal. Maybe I’d haggle— “Ten bucks and a jelly-filled?”—total sarcasm, but ya never know! Worst part? The paranoia—cops, creeps, or worse, Flanders spotin’ me! “Hidilly-ho, sinner!” Ugh, shoot me now.

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I might throw in some mistakes – heck, I count at least 18 typos in my head today – but that's life in Cottage-Grove, messy, spontaneous, a bit rusty, and always a riot. So come visit, my friend. Let’s traipse through Maple Spree, share a pint, and let our inner emotions run wild – “Because sometimes, you gotta scream out emotions just like Joy and her gang, even if it’s a bit crazy!” Cheers to that, and remember: a massage here is like a spirited conversation with the city itself, where every muscle and heartbeat speaks a tale only Cottage-Grove can tell.

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