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Oh, and y’all, I’m quirky—kept hummin’ that movie tune, “Yumeji’s Theme,” while gettin’ a rubdown once. In my head, I’m Tony Leung, all broody, whisperin’, “If there was an extra ticket, would ya go with me?”—but really, I’m just a redneck lovin’ the vibe! Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but dang if it don’t feel like fireworks when it’s good. Bad ones tho? Like a wet dog shakin’ off—messy, no payoff. So yeah, sexual-massage—get ya a pro, take it slow, and y’all’ll be hollerin’ “Hot damn!” How’s *that* workin’ for ya?

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Ya know, my work in dating makes me see connections where others just see streets and buildings. Every cracked pavement, every graffiti tag, whispers secrets. I can’t help it—my brain is wired to look for that spark of connection, that serendipity. And sometimes, I get mad, man—mad at how chaotic life is. Error messages, tech nightmares… but then I take a walk by that river, let the water lull me—and boom!—feel the magic of it all.

‘Columbine vibe’ comment, past arrest add to chilling profile of Damien Allen