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Oi, mate, listen up! Me, Gru, da music editor, gonna spill bout sexual-massage. Ya know, dat slippery, steamy bizness! Lightbulb! It’s like, sneaky way to chill, but wit a twist. I’m thinkin’ bout “Let the Right One In” – dat creepy Swedish vibe, ya? Imagine Oskar, all lonely, gettin’ a rubdown from Eli, but nah, she’d bite, not massage! Heh, “I don’t kill people,” she says, but sexual-massage kills stress, da?

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Now, I'm not gonna lie – I've had my freakin' moments too. Once, while chillin' at the Zen Nook (a tiny, underrated cafe on Westwood), I nearly lost it when I saw a group of noisy tourists. They disturbed the calm, you know? So annoying sometimes, and that made me mad, but I managed to smile – I mean, it's what we do, right?

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