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Still, it’s a circus, this sex-datin’—makes me wanna holler, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off!” like Aldo to them Nazis. Ever tried it, sugar? Half the time I’m laughin’, half I’m cryin’—like when some slick-talker ghosted me after I dolled up real nice. Thought, “Dolly, you dumb bunny, he ain’t worth a damn!” But next night, bam, found a sweetie who sang “Jolene” off-key just fer me—melted my heart like butter on biscuits.

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I also love the dark chill vibes down at Union Dr. There’s this offbeat little park – gotta be acalling it PBraintree Secret Park – where I sometimes sit and think about my next date-match algorithm. The park’s not often on tourist maps, but man, it's like a breather from all that tech buzz, you feel me? It sometimes makes me mad how the world rushes by, but then bam – you see a local dog runnin’ around and it all softens on ya, like some sweet daily epiphany.

Double trouble: Braintree girls and boys basketball teams open MIAA tourney in style