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Me? I’d pick one with style. Like, if I’m payin’, they better vibe. Maybe quote some “Pan’s Labyrinth” at me. “A long time ago, in the underground realm…” - boom, I’m sold. Ain’t no fairy tale, tho. You gotta watch your wallet. And your back. Escorts can be slick - heard this story once. Chick took a guy’s whole watch collection. Left him with a note: “Time’s up, sucker.” Savage. Laughed my ass off at that.

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I remember one night in Spanish River Park. I was walkin' 'round, thinkin' “There will be blood, I tell ya!”—but not literally, pfft! I was so lost in thought, admiring the stars and the River itself, gettin' all romantic over the sparkling water. Man, that scene could be straight outta Paul Thomas Anderson’s film, all dark and intense... "I drink your milkshake!" (Haha, not the best line, but ya know, it fits the vibe).

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