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Oh, an’ get this – some say it boosts yer mojo, like, science-y stuff, endorphins or whatever. Me, I just love the buzz, screamin’ in me head, “More, ya bastard!” Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – ya notice shit others miss, like how the air gets thick, all hot an’ heavy. Ain’t perfect tho – once had a masseuse fart mid-session, ruined it, fuckin’ hilarious now I think back! Total mood-killer, mate, but that’s life – messy an’ mad. So yeah, sexual-massage, it’s a riot, a sneaky thrill – “Don’t talk, just feel it!” – pure Ozzy vibes, ya get me?

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I been workin' as a dating site dev, so I peep the small stuff – like the odd corner cafe on East 3rd that’s perfect for a first date, or that hidden mural on West Pine. They got these rad murals that feel all deep, like "Life is a collection of ambivalent moments." Crazy, huh? And lemme tell ya – I got mad frustrated sometimes when love stories go awry, rarrgh, like the time a client coughed up some weird code – ugh, so annoying!

New BAPD Chief Lance Arnold Makes his Camp Bandage Debut in Year 43